You’re nearer than you think

When we start a new project or try to change something in our life we can sometimes get disheartened or give up before we reach the end. We look for signs that we are reaching our goals and if we don’t receive them we might be inclined to give up too soon.

We all know how it feels to get positive feedback, it keeps us motivated. When we get on the scales and we have lost a kg we feel fantastic and it gives us the feedback that we crave to continue with our efforts. The opposite is also is true. When we get on the scales and we’ve put on a kg then we feel deflated and lack the enthusiasm to continue with our efforts and inner chatter might be something like this.

What’s the point, who am I kidding I’m never going to be able to do this.”

Earlier in the year we discovered that the sub-frame to our outdoor patio was rotting and we had to pull up the deck to see the extent of the damage. It was really soul destroying to see our lovely deck in piles of wooden blanks and the rot underneath. On the bright side we now had the opportunity to replace it with composite boards which would mean that my husband would not be re-sealing it and sanding it every few years. So we set about seeking a replacement for the deck. It was an expensive exercise, but we had no choice and at least we could replace it with something that would last longer and need less maintenance. The planks had also started to cup due to bad construction and the wood rot.

For months we have had a building site in the back garden with decking pulled up, taken out to the tip, sand everywhere and a great big gaping hole where my beautiful patio once was. This went on for some time as the base was prepared for its new boards.

Just a few days ago our new patio was laid and we set about putting all the outdoor furniture back in its place. I had cleaned all the cushion covers and netting that went around the bali hut, so I put all these back and that night as we were in the spa looking out at our beautiful new patio I remember thinking how quickly it had all come together in the end after months of construction and mess. The result was definitely worth the effort and the wait.

We need to see the end in sight, but some goals are just too big to see the finish line and  some are really unclear however if it is something that you really want then it is worth putting in the effort and being prepared to be patient for signs of success and one thing for sure is that you won’t see any if you give up too soon.

You wouldn’t plant a seed in the garden and go out the next day and pull it out if it hadn’t already sprouted, so patience really is a virtue when it comes to long term goals. Focus on the end result and how it will look and feel when you have accomplished your goal and if you do get setbacks on the way let them ride past you as you focus on your end result even if you can’t see the finish line. You can imagine it and give your reward centre a sense of what is to come.  The brain really can’t distinguish between what is happening in its physical world and the imagination so enjoy your end results right NOW and turn on the neurotransmitter dopamine to give you that bit of reward and feel good that you need to keep going.

Good luck with your new projects and goals and remember if it is really important to you to keep going until you get some signs that you are on the right track.

Baby Steps, Changing Old Habits

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is about patterns and behaviours that we adopt from an early age.

When we were small we looked at our adult role models and imitated what they did to develop our skills, both motor skills and intellectual skills. We watched them and copied. They were walking, we started to try and at first we would crawl and drag ourselves around and every now and then we would muster up the strength and determination to attempt our first step. The result? We hit the ground, it was difficult, it was the first time after all. What did we do? Did we sit on our backside and quietly say to ourselves, that hurt I’m not doing that again or did we have a few tears, possibly chuckle to ourselves (even back then we were all different) and get back up and try again?

Imagine if we just sat there and thought, well that hurt I’m never going to do that again and stayed on the floor? We laugh, but think about some of the things that you are doing right now. Are there things that you have found difficult so given up on even though you want it more than anything? Fear can paralyse us, yet when we were a toddler we didn’t have that concept of fear to hold us back.   Think about some things right now that you would like to change and ask is the fear worth the price of what you could achieve if you could lose that fear and take your first step?

Of course, in time as youngsters we learned fear as well, after all we are copying our role models right? So whatever fears and limiting beliefs that our role models had we have either consciously or unconsciously adopted. We trusted that their fears worked for them, so they must work for us too, right?

There comes a point in time when we realise we are back down there on the floor and we are finding it difficult to get back up. Look at what fear might be holding you back and limiting your potential. Have you unwittingly taken on some of the beliefs and behaviours of your earlier role models that no longer serve you? How can you change these limiting beliefs or behaviours to get you to where you want to go?

As a toddler did you think when you hit the ground, how embarrassing I hope no-one noticed? No because it was a natural thing to do as it is still sometimes for us to hit a low. Life is ups and downs, it’s how we ride the wave that matter, so work on your bounce. When you hit the floor get up quickly, dust yourself down and hope that no-one noticed and if they did work it, own it, it’s what makes us human.

The 4 Ps for Peak Performance

Peak Performance = Passion + Power + Persistence + Patience

Passion

When we are aligned with what drives us; our passion, it is easy to do what is needed to be done to get to where we want to be. We are driven to accomplish these things in our life. We only need motivation when we have to do something that does not align directly with our passion.

How easy is it to jump out of bed and do something that you are truly passionate about, compared to something that you have to do, but don’t really want to do it?

“Where attention goes, energy flows.” (James Redfield). Our mind focuses on what we give importance to and if we focus on what we are passionate about, it is virtually effortless to follow through.

The key here is to find an alignment with our passion even if it is indirect. If I accomplish this task then it brings me one step nearer to my real goal.

Power

Put some power behind your intention. “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” (Norman Vincent Peale). If you want to only achieve 10% of what you are capable of then put in only 10% effort, if you want the whole 100% then drive it home. Put in the time, effort and commitment to make it happen. It is easier to complain that it wasn’t our day, our time, we didn’t have this or that. Get serious, if you want it it’s there for the taking. There’s no time like the present.

Persistence

We have all heard the saying, if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. We may not be successful the first time we attempt something new or are trying to motivate ourselves to do something that we do not want to. Those who persist with eventually prevail. You cannot prevail if you give up at the first hurdle. Remind yourself again of why you are doing this and the rewards of accomplishing your goals. Visualise and mentally rehearse the end game right now and keep your eye on that vision. If you have a bad day, that happens to us all, pick yourself up and pick up your pace the day after. Keep on showing up day after day until your vision becomes a reality.

Patience

This takes, of course, patience. You cannot plant a seed and demand that it grows quicker, even if you give it plenty of water and sunlight, it will grow in its own time and keep looking at it every half hour does not help either. Cultivate the art of patience. As the saying goes, everything comes to those that wait. Do all that you can and then trust that your efforts will be rewarded.

At the peak of passion, when you are truly inspired, seize the moment and act. Use your power to fuel your passion and persistence and patience to follow it through.