It’s never too late to have a happy childhood

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” Dr Richard Bandler, co-founder of NLP.

Neuro-linguistic Programming or NLP can be used to assist people to release the negative impact of childhood trauma or memories that are still creating patterns in the present.   We come into the world with an innocence that changes as we experience the world around us and the connections and meaning we give to those events. Something that happened to you as a small child may still have a massive impact on your life today, in fact, you many even feel that it is holding you back from your true potential as your past has such a strong hold on you. You just want to let this go once and for all and go on with your life and enjoy the present.

NLP can be used to go back to past events and bring away a different meaning than the one created at that time. It assists to reframe the situation. It can recreate the memory as a new memory. Each time we remember a memory, the very process of recalling the memory changes that memory, so using this fact we can change that memory for the better. Have you ever experienced a situation when you are recounting past memories with a friend or family member and their recollection is totally different from your own? We all have different filters and frames through which we see the world and each one is different, so every rendition of the same event will be slightly different or completely different.

We focus on what we don’t want, more than what we do. We remember the bad things more than we remember the good things, so we can go back and look for evidence of the good things that were also going on at that time and refocus our energy in these areas rather than on the negative.

From these past events and meanings and connections that we have made in the brain we will re-run these patterns over and over and experience these same feelings throughout our adult life and unbeknown to us each occurrence has added to the same feelings until they accumulate to a breaking point. The event that creates the breaking point may not even be that big but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Road rage is a good example of this. Do you really think that the driver of the car is angry about the road conditions or how you, or someone else, is driving or is it part of a bigger issue that that person has carried anger inside them for a long time, which could have started back in childhood and has grown until it has developed to a rage and then one day explodes?

These patterns will continue to repeat until they are interrupted and are replaced with new patterns or behaviours. This is where NLP comes in. NLP techniques give quick results and can be reinforced with life coaching techniques to assist you to identify issues and find new thinking patterns and behaviours that work for you to get you more of what you want in life, not more of what you don’t want.

Are you ready to break the cycle? Do you know someone else who is? If so share this post or take action and see how your life can be transformed with NLP and life coaching.

First Published in LinkedIn : 28 July 2016

Baby Steps, Changing Old Habits

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is about patterns and behaviours that we adopt from an early age.

When we were small we looked at our adult role models and imitated what they did to develop our skills, both motor skills and intellectual skills. We watched them and copied. They were walking, we started to try and at first we would crawl and drag ourselves around and every now and then we would muster up the strength and determination to attempt our first step. The result? We hit the ground, it was difficult, it was the first time after all. What did we do? Did we sit on our backside and quietly say to ourselves, that hurt I’m not doing that again or did we have a few tears, possibly chuckle to ourselves (even back then we were all different) and get back up and try again?

Imagine if we just sat there and thought, well that hurt I’m never going to do that again and stayed on the floor? We laugh, but think about some of the things that you are doing right now. Are there things that you have found difficult so given up on even though you want it more than anything? Fear can paralyse us, yet when we were a toddler we didn’t have that concept of fear to hold us back.   Think about some things right now that you would like to change and ask is the fear worth the price of what you could achieve if you could lose that fear and take your first step?

Of course, in time as youngsters we learned fear as well, after all we are copying our role models right? So whatever fears and limiting beliefs that our role models had we have either consciously or unconsciously adopted. We trusted that their fears worked for them, so they must work for us too, right?

There comes a point in time when we realise we are back down there on the floor and we are finding it difficult to get back up. Look at what fear might be holding you back and limiting your potential. Have you unwittingly taken on some of the beliefs and behaviours of your earlier role models that no longer serve you? How can you change these limiting beliefs or behaviours to get you to where you want to go?

As a toddler did you think when you hit the ground, how embarrassing I hope no-one noticed? No because it was a natural thing to do as it is still sometimes for us to hit a low. Life is ups and downs, it’s how we ride the wave that matter, so work on your bounce. When you hit the floor get up quickly, dust yourself down and hope that no-one noticed and if they did work it, own it, it’s what makes us human.