“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” Henry Ford.
We are all very familiar with this very famous quote and it is so true, but how can you create self-confidence and belief if it just isn’t there?
I have always been a very confident person and people have said that they admire my self-confidence. There are just some things that I have certainty around, like my skills and knowledge, my ability to be successful in my career choices, the faith that I have in my relationships, the loyalty of life-long friends.
Self confidence is not a characteristic that we are born with. It is something that we can develop, it is an attitude and a choice, not a trait.
Even those of us that have a good level of self-confidence find ourselves faltering at times. We all have those moments of self doubt, moments of uncertainty when things are not clear, when we enter into unchartered territory or push ourselves, or find ourselves, by no choice of our own, outside of our comfort zone.
I am currently completing a Life Visioning Quest with Michael Beckwith. It is amazing. He talks about the Dark Night of the Soul, what I describe in my workshops as brain chaos. It is the place between where we are really comfortable and certain and the place where we want to be. It is a fundamental part of the change process and our brain’s response to change.
We have taken that leap of faith and gotten into deep water and we have two choices. We can either keep swimming until we reach the new shore or turn back around and go back to where we came from, either way it is uncomfortable whilst we are in the deep water, so why not just push forward and reach a new place instead of going back and forth and exhausting yourself with all the effort?
We really do not know how near we are until we reach the shore, but that is where we will find new opportunities and something different from what we are experiencing right now.
It is through our greatest fears and being courageous that we find our greatest rewards, but we do have to do the work to get there. We have all experienced the feeling of achieving something that we thought previously was outside of our reach and how it feels after when we attempt something similar. We have changed the set point in our brain. Once we realise something is possible we will continue to attempt other things and build up our confidence. It is the same way that we learned to walk and talk, practice really does make perfect.
Feel the fear and do it anyway. Take that leap of faith, you don’t know until you try and you have already failed if you don’t try.
Change your seat point. Keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone until you reach your destination, one step at a time.
Ask yourself this question. Who said I can’t do this? If it is someone else, go out and prove them wrong. If it was you, then prove yourself wrong. It is only a mindset and a mindset can be changed.