Image Decide What You Want - woman looking pensive

Success Principle #3: Decide What You Want

This can be a difficult one, especially when so many people seem to have a strong opinion on what we should be doing and what we should want.

As we grow older we become less and less clear as more social pressure is piled on top of us. We lose our way with more and more rules and conditions put in front of us. It’s not nice to want more, you should be happy with your lot, there are a lot of people worse off than you… 

As we get more and more confused, the harder it gets. Imagine walking into the supermarket and not remembering why you went there, you know you need something for dinner, so you buy what comes into your line of vision and return home. When you get home you realise why you went there and didn’t get what you wanted. Next time you write down exactly what you want and take the list with you and come back with what you want. Simple strategy, yet we don’t apply it when it comes to the supermarket of life. We settle for whatever is on special, in our line of vision of what someone else wants. What’s that about?

How many times have you been asked what you want and your reply is, “I don’t mind,” then you are not happy with the outcome. That should be the second definition of insanity, right behind doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. If you don’t mind, then you shouldn’t be surprised if life is not exactly as you would like it to be. You have to make some decisions, define how you want your life to be and then make a decision, stop sitting on the fence.

If you really don’t mind, then you shouldn’t mind the outcome. This is not going with the flow. This is letting the current take you wherever it is going and then being annoyed when you end up somewhere you don’t want to be.

If you want your life to be even better than it is right now, then you need to mind. You need to have an opinion, you need to spend time working out exactly what you do want in all areas and then work out a path as to how to get there.

I know that I used to say that I don’t really know what I want, but that is not really true. The truth is that what I want doesn’t necessarily align with other peoples’ ideas of what I should want and there is also the fact that what I really want is outside of my comfort zone, so I will need to extend myself more to get it, so let’s be honest with ourselves and start to work out exactly what it is that we want and then decide what we are prepared to change to get it.


Reflect on what on what you want – take time to think about what your ideal life would look like.

Create a vision board – so that you can refocus on your real desires rather than what is in front of you. Put it somewhere where you can see it every day.

Make decisions about your future – don’t let others decide what you want or sway you from you want.

Be clear – when you find yourself saying “I don’t mind”, is that the truth or are you allowing yourself to be caught up in the current of life, being lazy or afraid of getting out of your comfort zone? How much do you want this?

The bottom line is that unless you decide, you will keep getting more of what you have right now, whether you like it or not.

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